Bullying, It needs to stop
Now I know that Bullying it's really what I intent to portray on my Blog. However, This is a serious problem and everyone (I hope) knows this.
I decided to write about this on my blog because it is a topic in one of my university online classes.
The time bullying is critical during adolescence.
We had a couple of viewing/listening that we had to listen/watch. While doing this I sat alone in my room and felt horribly helpless and uncomfortable to how so many people are victimized. During the time of watching this I was reflecting on my adolescence was I a bully, a victim, or a bystander? I feel like I was all three. Thinking about my adolescence I feel like I was a bully, I might have no been the person excluding others, starting rumors, and being physical, but others may categorize me as a bystander but in my mind I believe that it is the exact same thing as being a bully. I remember in early adolescence I would follow the 'main girl', I so badly wanted to fit in with the popular girl in school! that was something I thought would make me feel better about my self, I wanted to be like the popular girls. I would do anything I would follow that 'main girl' do what ever she wanted just to fit in. Thinking back on this I feel like I am the biggest idiot on earth! but in adolescence fitting in with your peers is everything.
As I entered high school I wanted the same thing. I wanted to fit in with the new popular girls. So I did what I had to do to fit in. As I thought I was lucky to fit in with them because we shared the passion of dance. There were Four of us, we were a strong clique we shared so much we were never focused on hurting others but there were times that we did bully others. It may not had been repeated bullying but we could be mean if we wanted to. I mean these girls came from good homes they were good people on the inside.
Many years we stayed great friends strong friends but over the years we had situations where we had issues. One girl got her first boyfriend and began to ignore us because she was really into her boyfriend but as soon as they broke up everything went back to normal. This is one of several examples. In my final year of high school, our group of four had grown we had befriended two other girls. One girl had a boyfriend who was a year older and he had graduated and she was alone (we will call her A) and so we befriended her and the other girl had a falling out with one of her friends so we befriended her. *(now this girl is important we will call her S)
Now the final year of high school we were all excited to get out of highschool and 'be free'. Now Once the two girls had grown our group to 6 it was all fun and games at first. But then I noticed my friends began to become distant and strange. They would never meet up in our usual places began to make plans with out me and I was confused to what was going on most of the time it was me and A the rest of the girls had stuck around with S. After a while it became a relationship where we would hang out sometimes but it would be a distant awkward time. After a white I noted that I was being invited to parties but A wasn't. I was even told to not tell A about the party and of course I didn't because I wanted my friends. All this time S became 'the leader' and my three friend were following her every move because S was popular with everyone so my friends were attracted to that. S i guess didn't mind me but she hated A, and who knows why, to this day I still don't even know why. But I did stick by my friends side. It became to the point where the end of the year had come and my befriends throughout high school were aliens to me.
I will always remember my last day of school there was happiness through all the students that it was the last day of high school!
but my biggest regret was not saying goodbye to my three best friends the ones that were there for me through everything. The last day of school I was sad, not happy, I watched as my best friends walk right pass me and ignore me and shared their happiness with others. I was hurt so I just left and went home. I remember going home and just crying, it was upsetting knowing the people that I shared so much with, were different they were cold and just not the warm people I knew.
After graduation I decided that 'my friends' were not longer there for me so I ended any contact, I even unfriended them on facebook, that was a big deal and so did A. My best friend was A and she still is to this day. But after a while I got so fed up with how S treated her and how my so called friends did to. I could have gone along and ignored A too but I didn't because A is not a bad person.
Now, It has been over three years since I have graduated, I managed to reconcile my friendship with one of my old friends, thanks to my older sister and my friends big brother. But the others I barley had contact with. Eventually my old friends had sent a friend request on facebook and A and I decided to friend them again and my old friends messaged on facebook awkwardly asking how things were but it never was the same. I don't know if i can ever feel the same way again, how do I know they wont hurt me, have they changed?
I have no regret about my decisions because I knew they were the right ones. But I still have a part of me that misses my friends that I shared everything with. I wish that we could still be the best of friends that we were in high school I honestly miss them. There will always be in my mind the "what if" what if i did somethign different, what if i talked to them about what was happening. What if.
Now this may not be a great example of extreme bullying but it is a form of bullying. I have seen extreme bullying with my younger brother. But bullying is bullying and it sucks, I may not have been the victim but I know how it feels and it sucks! Listening to the different examples from my class makes me reflect on these times. Why? why do these people bully? why why why!
It is just completely unfair! Bullying from girls may not be obvious but girls know how to hurt you emotionally (like S) and girls are emotional people. So it is hard for it to be noticed! and now it is being seen in males too.
Why does it happen? and why doesn't it stop?
Even though you may think that nothing is happening, something is happening.
Adolescence need to realize that when bullying is happening, whether someone is being victimized or if your a bystander, it needs to be stopped. Everyone says get an adult get help. Its true as an adolescence you think that the adults could never help you. BUT THEY CAN!
Bullying needs more awareness bullying needs to be stopped. Too many kids have taken their lives because of bullying and it needs to stop!
IT NEEDS TO STOP!
Thank you for reading my story below will be linked videos, recordings, and programs that talk about bullying. I suggest checking them out, it may inspire you to do something about this, It has inspired me to make sure that it is a clear message to my students, I teach cheerleading to, that there is ZERO tolerance to bullying and that they need to pass on that message. And you should do the same. Maybe you don't have a group of people to inspire but you can just simply talk to others and explain that bullying has zero tolerance and it can be stopped, just pass on the message.
-Nicole
Bullying programs:
Stop Cyberbullying (
http://www.cyberbullying.ca/
Stop a Bully (
http://www.stopabully.ca/)
WITS (Walk away, Ignore, Talk it out, Seek help) (
http://web.uvic.ca/wits/)
The Olweus Prevention program
(http://kids-can.ca/program)
Roots of empathy (
http://www.rootsofempathy.org/)
Listening 3 parts: http://www.cbc.ca/ideas/episodes/features/2011/01/07/its-a-girls-world/
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsvCVg8oa1w
